This blog has been silent for the past 3 weeks because, as some of you are already aware, my boyfriend of 16 years died of a drug overdose on 11/18/13. No one was aware he was shooting up. He hid it well & didn’t reach out to anybody. And it saddens me to think that the only time I’ll ever get the truth from him about what he was using, is when the toxicology report comes in. His funeral service was on December 1st & a few days later I was invited to his non-Al-Anon home group where I heard something new…
WHAT I LEARNED: “The Steps are essentially a way to deal with not getting what I want.” …I’ve never heard it put so succinctly. And what I want more than anything is to have the love of my life back. …But knowing what I know now about all the pain he was in & how much he must have been suffering, would I really wish that? How selfish of me. …Instead I wish him peace & I hope he can finally get a good night’s rest.
Thank you for all the cards, emails, calls, texts, voice-messages, & even comments sent to me thru this blog! I truly appreciate everyone reaching out to me during this dark time to let me know I’m not alone. I will start posting new entries & be back in the rooms very soon!
"CAL Chat" Blog ~My journey in Al-Anon~ 
Oh my…..I didn’t know til now about your crisis. Love and tenderness coming your way from here. Friends from the ‘ rooms’ are very special friends indeed. I’m so glad we have each other when we’re hurting and can lean on one another. A special warm cyber-
hug from Martha.
Hi Pat, So sorry about to hear about that. Life can be strange and tough, at times.Our HP gives us strength to get through it. Bob Colburn
My dear lovely lady,
I did not realize the dark days you were experiencing. I am sorry to hear about the tragic death of the love of your life. One day at a time sweet sister. May the God of your understanding begin you comfort, peace and serenity. I’m praying for you.
With much love,
Sharon
Come and let us hug you, dear friend. I am so sorry for your loss. His pain is done. You are left to learn the lessons your HP wants you to know. Strength. Prayers for your healing through the stages of grief.
You’ll see me around soon, I’m just now getting back into the swing of things…
You have been in mine and so many others, prayers these past couple of weeks. My heart goes out to you as you come to such a hard time in your life in the loss of someone so dear to your heart. We are all a family and we are all here for you Pat and as we all deal with your sorrow and pain just know we love you dearly.
Sharon
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Pat my heart is with you in your grief. You are not alone. As you have inspired and helped so many…let the rooms and our higher power carry you one minute at a time. Hugs and lots of love your way.