Back in 2014, I posted a slightly critical review of “The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage” (item # B-4) & mentioned that if that book was ever discontinued, I would hope certain portions would at least continue to live on in another piece of literature. So I was very happy when news came out in 2021 that that was exactly what was going to happen!(footnote 1) It originally had the working title of “Gems from Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage,”(footnote 2) then “Gems Booklet,”(footnote 3) & finally it came out in September 2024 as: “Healing Within Our Alcoholic Relationships — A Collection of Insights from Our Shared Journey” (item # P-95).
I knew this new booklet would be a composite of several other books, but I couldn’t find out exactly which ones & how much of it was actually new material. After careful review, here is what I was able to piece together as an approximate breakdown:
- 60% (mostly pages 1-26) = “The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage” (item # B-4)
- 30% = “Reaching for Personal Freedom” (item # P-92)
- 5% = “Discovering Choices — Recovery in Relationships” (item # B-30)
- 1% = “How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics” (item # B-32)
- 1% = “Intimacy in Alcoholic Relationships” (item # B-33)
- 1% = “First Steps — Anon… 35 Years of Beginnings” (item # B-12)
- 1% = “Having Had a Spiritual Awakening…” (item # eB-25)
- 1% = Either entirely brand new material &/or previously published material from the Inside Al-Anon newsletter, Vol. 14, No. 2, Feb/March 1991 (no item #)
2. Compared to “Dilemma,” this booklet is clearly updated for a broader audience that is in any type of relationship (not just a marriage). The language is also more suggestive instead of definitive & declarative. For instance, gone are all the “musts” & whereas the word “should” appeared 11 times in “Dilemma,” it now only appears 7 times (4 of which come from a section that wasn’t in “Dilemma” at all – the Traditions).(footnote 4) Removed as well are religious passages, colloquialisms, & idioms which aligns the text with Al-Anon’s principles as well as makes it easier to translate into other languages. The tone of this booklet is now about helping (rather than teaching) & many excerpts sometimes only switched from the plural “we” to the singular “I” or “me,” which I think made the material feel more personal & meaningful.
3. With regard to the booklet’s Part IV, which is a section pertaining to each of the Steps, Traditions, & Concepts, almost two-thirds of these questions come from the workbook “Reaching for Personal Freedom” (item # P-92), however they’ve been simplified to be more approachable since they can now be answered with yes, no, or maybe. Only the “who, what, where, when, how, & why” type of words appearing at the beginning of the original questions were changed. For example:
| “Reaching for Personal Freedom” (P-92) | “Healing Within Our Alcoholic Relationships” (P-95) |
| How can I… | Do I… |
| What are examples of… | Have I ever… |
| When has… | Has my… |
| In what situations… | Have I ever… |
| Why is it important to… | Do I… |
It made me realize that I can make these changes to any questions in the Al-Anon literature to either simplify or expand them to go deeper!
4. Overall, I really enjoyed this new addition to Al-Anon’s CAL Catalog & I hope its compact format along with its broad appeal will help it to stay in print for many years to come. With that said, only 2 things bummed me out about this new booklet:
- The ending paragraph in “Dilemma” entitled “A Final Thought” was not kept. ☹️ See my previous post on “Dilemma” for the ‘Bonus CAL Question #2’ to find out the interesting bit of Al-Anon trivia about the author of this quote.
- As of the 2024 printing, there was no index included! 😢 So, I decided to make one! 😃 A printable PDF version can be downloaded here: “Healing Within Our Alcoholic Relationships” – Index or if you prefer an interactive version online where you can jump link to different sub-indexed words, click here for the online index. It’s helped me to see this booklet in a new way & I enjoy it even more now!
Footnotes
1. “The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage” article from pages 37-38 of the “2021 World Service Conference Summary” (item # P-46).
2. “Conference members had the following comments and questions” section from page 24 of the “2023 World Service Conference Summary” (item # P-46).
3. “Insight: GEMS BOOKLET” section from page 64 of the “2024 World Service Conference Summary” (item # P-46).
4. The word “should” appears in Al-Anon’s Traditions One, Four, Six, & Eight.
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